Friday, October 26, 2007

I DONT REMEMBER

Remembrance Day

I was not there so I shall not know
So all you can do is imagine
Imagine the fear, the hate, the loathing
The enemies closing
Imagine the hurt, the pain
Imagine the jerk of your head
And you’re dead
Imagine the dead
Being blown overhead
By those refusing to die
Imagine the crying, the screaming, and the dying
By those on the ground
The bullets that tore through cannot be found
The fighting forgotten
The memories still here

9 comments:

Parkerinodude said...

Very emotional andrew I love it

Andrew Medjuck said...

This is really good work...no pointless words. It had meaning and i feel like you didnt just write it to get it over with, you wrote it to tell people your message. good job

Jake Mandel said...

-Very Well Done
-Constractive get to the point and it is great
-very emotional and deep
-Interesting
-Deep very well done Parker

Jake Mandel

P.S good job there are no Air Words

Urback said...

Really good job Parker. I found actually 0 air words it was very well done and intresting and very it was one of the best that i love very emotional. I really love how t made you think and like Medjuck says" Thats Deep" actually
Good Job

-Zac Urback

Jake Mandel said...

parker...
just finished reading it...
thought it was great..
i dont really understand how the line " The bullets that tore through cannot be found" i dont know how it fits in.
the line " jerk of your head" really gets into the detail of getting shot
anyways
great work
page

this is from spencer by the way my account broke

Parkerinodude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Parkerinodude said...

I really like it but the line at the beginning takes away from itso you should take it away and see how it feels and sounds

Parkerinodude said...

The ryhming really adds to it nad considering it makes sense..... wow.MIght want to take away the line the bullets that tore through and add bullets cant be found

Andrew Medjuck said...

Andrew....
As i said above this poem is really good.
in one phrase you said the word dead twice. I'm not sure if you were trying to do that like you were for the word imagine but if i were you i would change it. I think it takes away from the professionalism and flow of the poem.

WRITE ON MY BLOG!!!!

Andrew Medjuck